It’s still Valentine’s Day, but just about nobody’s in the mood for romance in Bonnie Sherr Klein’s anti-porn crusade doc NOT A LOVE STORY, the latest exclusive mini-Motion Picture Purgatory review by Rick Trembles. I only wish we knew Klein’s thoughts on a real homegrown attempt we recently helped unearth, SEXCULA!
Vagrancy Films, Canada’s filthiest purveyors of cinematic crud have scoured their film vault for their newest release, COLOUR CORRECT MY COCK, a unique trailer compilation that represents one of their most to ambitious releases to date. James Bialkowski and Jacob Windatt have assembled a wealth of weird trailers, crazy concession ads, snippets of vintage porn, PSAs and other bizarre bits that will delight B-movie fiends. But there’s an extra treat in there for Canuxploitation fans too, as the Vagrancy guys have made this a truly Canadian release by sprinkling in some excellent vintage material from the Great White North. It’s all been tossed together into a (purposely) splicy, scratchy,yellowing presentation meant to replicate the grimy attraction of seeing these clips at a drive-in or hardtop fleapit for the first time.
Maple leaf-waving highlights of COLOUR CORRECT MY COCK include an advertisement for the CBC airing of the 1977 Canadian Film Awards, featuring OUTRAGEOUS!, WHY SHOOT THE TEACHER?, J.A. MARTIN PHOTGRAPHE and WHO HAS SEEN THE WIND that makes it look like most of our films are tedious Prairie dramas. There’s also a fun, lengthy ad/trailer by the National Film Board for its Children’s Film Festival, a feature-length program of shorts “for the whole family” that debuted in 1968 and features clips from TI-JEAN GOES LUMBERING, Norm McLaren’s CHRISTMAS CRACKER, PADDLE-TO-THE-SEA, THE STORY OF CINDERELLA, DIMENSIONS and THE BEAR AND THE MOUSE.
Other nostalgia-provoking Canadian clips include Famous Players gift certificate ads (offered in “gay envelopes”), a Saskatchewan-produced anti-drunk driving spot, and a pre-show Cineplex Odeon promo with “$2.50 Tuesdays” emblazoned above their logo. But perhaps most painfully dry is a 1981 spot from Statistics Canada encouraging people to complete their census forms. Do it today!
While there aren’t any Canadian trailers on the disc, there’s still plenty of fascinating finds for cult film buffs. Heavy on the sex film trailers (including some straight-up hardcore porn–you’ve been warned) and ads for Italian genre films, highlights of the disc include the infamous Swedish sex romp DAGMAR’S HOT PANTS INC (1971), a couple Corbucci classics (DEATH ON THE RUN (1967) and SONNY AND JED (1972)), and the virtually unheard of Italian mafia pic GODMOTHER II (1973). DESTROYER (1988) with a re-animated death row inmate played by Lyle Alzado looks like lots of fun and, as expected, there’s also a trailer for Connie Stevens-starring SCORCHY (1976), a perennial favourite usually screened at Vagrancy’s events.
All in all, COLOUR CORRECT MY COCK (whose odd title is explained in a brief prologue) is a great and greasy little package of B-movie madness that scored some extra points with us because of the cool Canadian content included. But even seasoned trailer disc fans will want to check out Vagrancy’s down ‘n’ dirty presentation and commitment to unseen oddities that puts this particular compilation in a class by itself.
Tune your weapons for the latest exclusive mini-Motion Picture Purgatory by Rick Trembles, who keeps the dogs at bay with another exclusive Motion Picture Purgatory review of the brilliantly bad horrorshow ROCK ‘N’ ROLL NIGHTMARE (1986). Vancouver rock legend Thor stars in this surreal VHS staple featuring the finest cocktail of monsters, mammaries and metal to ever emerge from a rundown farmhouse in Mississauga.